Take backdoor pleasure to the highest level with these tips on how to have an anal orgasm—plus, what it actually entails.
Oh, don’t act so surprised! Of course an anal orgasm is a thing. (And a very pleasurable thing, if I do say so myself). What—did you think anal sex has garnered all the attention it’s been getting by *not* helping you orgasm?
Well, if you’ve been snoozing on peach play up until now, fear not. Below, experts explain exactly what an anal orgasm is, plus eight tips for how to have one.
Wait, Anal Orgasms Are Real?
Not only are they real, but theoretically, anyone with a booty can have one (read: every body). But, often, the mechanism that induces an anal orgasm varies depending on anatomy, says Evan Goldstein M.D., CEO and founder of Bespoke Surgical, which specializes in helping folks of all genders and sexualities engage in anal.
For people with prostate (usually people assigned male at birth), often an anal O will occur through stimulating the prostate through anal penetration, explains Dr. Goldstein. (ICYDK, the prostate is a walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and the penis, just in front of the rectum.)
And for vagina-havers, an anal O typically occurs through stimulation of the G-spot or A-spot through the anal canal, explains certified sex educator Alicia Sinclair, CEO of b-Vibe, an anal play product company. The wall between the vagina and anus is super thin, so anal sex can stimulate those hot-spots. In fact, according to her, the A-spot (that’s the anterior fornix zone) may be anatomically easier to stimulate through the butt than through the vagina. (Because everything downstairs is so close together, that’s why you can even get turned on from having a full bladder.)
Fun fact: A 2016 survey for sex camera site Cam4 asked 8,000 women worldwide about their orgasms and found that, among American women, 42 percent have orgasms during anal (!!).
All that said: An anal orgasm is an orgasm that’s achieved through any kind of anal stimulation. Including (but not limited to) oral-anal play, anal fingering, penetrative anal intercourse with a penis or dildo, spanking, or play that occurs while wearing a butt plug or using anal beads.
“An anal orgasm can occur through just anal stimulation, or with the additional stimulation of other erogenous zones,” says Sinclair.
How to Explore Anal Orgasms
Ready to venture from wanting an anal O to having an anal O? We’ve got your
back butt. And don’t worry, you don’t need a plus one to try these steps or experience a mind-boggling butt-O.
1. Stock your drawer with lube.
It’s practically a mantra at this point: Use lube! While it’s true that lube makes all types of hanky panky better, for anal play it’s non-negotiable because the anus is not self-lubricating, says Dr. Goldstein. “Lube is the difference between a friction-filled experience, and a pleasurable one.”
Go ahead and scroll through this list of sex educator-recommended anal lubes and add one (or five) to your cart. Oh, and keep in mind: Silicone lubes can ruin silicone toys. So if you’re planning to use toys, opt for water- or oil-based lube instead.
2. Touch your own bum.
Whether you’re boo-ed up or not, you should be exploring your own body—especially your butt—before exploring with a partner, says Dr. Goldstein. No matter how sexually communicative you are, it’s way easier to navigate between what feels good and what doesn’t feel good more quickly during anal masturbation vs. with a partner.
“While you jack off anally, use this time to feel your own vibes, learn what gets you off (and what doesn’t), what hurts or feels uncomfortable (and what feels oh-so-good), and what new tricks you can bring into partner play,” he says.
3. Use a toy.
Anal beads! Butt plugs! Dildos! So long as the toy as a flared base (this is what keeps the toy from getting stuck inside you), it’s safe for anal play. “Different toys can offer different sensations, but each can help you reach orgasm,” says Sinclair.
Butt plugs are a great option for folks who want to enjoy a sensation of anal fullness while using their hands to manually stimulate their other hot-spots or hold clit vibrators. Wearing a butt plug while receiving oral sex is the exact anal O recipe for some folks, notes Sinclair.
Anal beads are great for people who enjoy the sensation of their anal sphincter (the muscles at the end of the rectum that surrounds the anus and control the release of waste) being massaged. But full transparency: It’ll depend on your flexibility and dexterity whether you’ll be able to insert and removing anal beads in your own butt.
Suction cup dildos are an awesome option for folks who can climax from anal penetration, and are looking for a way to ride a dildo during solo sex. Suction it to a chair, then get into rider-on-top or reverse rider on top position, and thrust up and down while twiddling your front bits. Products to check out: Rainbow Pride Dildo (Buy It, $69, babeland.com) and Boss Silicone Dildo (Buy It, $60, babeland.com).
Strap-on is the official term for wearing a dildo in a harness. A strap-on like the Curved Pegasus Realistic Harness Set (Buy it, $135, babeland.com) is an awesome and necessary purchase for strap-on anal sex and pegging.
4. Explore rimming.
Rim job, analingus, salad tossing—doesn’t matter what you call it, but you should try it, says Dr. Goldstein. “I am a huge proponent of oral-anal play as an act all its own, or as a way to get ready for anal play,” he says.”Not only will it help get you relaxed and ready to be penetrated, but there are so many nerve endings on the outside of the anus that it just feels amazing,” he says.
Looking for some licking tips? Start along the cheeks and crack to tease your partner, before eventually moving your tongue in clockwise and counterclockwise circles around the anal opening, suggests Dr. Goldstein. You can also try thrusting your tongue in and out. While you lick, if your partner consents, he recommends bringing a hand in to stimulate their other erogenous zones. You might:
- Tweak/twist/pinch/flick their nipples.
- Stroke their clit or cock.
- Apply pressure to their pubic mound.
- Scratch their back.
- Trace the underbelly of their knee or foot.
If you’re currently-without-bae, and you want to explore the sensation of being rimmed while you masturbate, you have a few options: One is to use the b-Vibe Rimming plug (Buy it, $157, babeland.com) which is deserving of its name. Featuring a ring of rotating beads in its neck, when inside your body it actually feels like a tongue! Just note: Even the petite size is still pretty big (think: a medium-sized strawberry), so this is best for non-beginner anal masturbators.
A better option for folks new to anal play is to squirt gel-like lube on your finger and entrance, and then use your digit to trace circles around it. Increase the chance of orgasm by also stroking your clit or cock or with your other hand while you do so, suggests Sinclair. (Reminder: Don’t use the same hand on your butt and then on your genitals—you can spread bacteria that might result in an annoying infection.)
5. Switch up positions.
Again, the P-spot and G-spot are often the keys to unlocking an anal O. To hit them during penetrative anal sex, you’ll want to opt for a position that allows your partner to aim toward your belly button while inside you, says Sinclair. “The beauty of a standing doggy style and rider on top is that the receiver can stimulate themselves while being penetrated,” she says.
Elevated missionary with a pillow propped under the receiver’s hips is another great option for first-time play because your partner can read your facial expressions. Also: intimacy. If your sleeping pillow is soft AF, consider investing in a sex pillow like the Dame Pillo (Buy it, $95, dameproducts.com) or Liberator Wedge (Buy it, $98, babeland.com).
If these positions don’t do it, try a little dual-penetration action by adding a vaginal plug (which goes in the vaginal canal and stays in during play) such as the b-Vibe Twist Texture Plug (Buy it, $95, bvibe.com). Vaginal plugs will “press” the vaginal hot-spots toward the anal canal and increase the chances that they’ll get stimulated during anal sex.
6. Take it to the shower or bath.
Anal sex havers generally fall into two camps: those who love exploring anal play in the shower and bath because the warm water helps all their muscles—including the anal sphincter muscles—relax and those who hate it because the water washes the lube away. It’s all about preference. Still, Sinclair says that for folks who are wary of anal play due to the whole fear-of-poop thing (which, FYI, is pretty unfounded) shower and bath anal play can be a gamechanger. “It can be erotic, feels clean, and is literally and figuratively hot,” she says.
She recommends using a silicone- or oil-based lubricant, which are much less likely to wash off in the shower/bath than water-based lube. “If you use [one of these] and are mindful about regular reapplication, the experience can be really pleasant.” Top recommendations: Uberlube (Buy It, $29, babeland.com) and pJur Original Silicone Lube (Buy It, $6, babeland.com).
Just be warned that silicone and oil lubes are slippery AF, so you might want to get a slip-free shower mat to keep from toppling over. After all, the last thing anyone needs is a trip to the ER to taint their anal experience.
7. Exit slowly.
Done? “Don’t just pull out real quick,” says Sinclair. Instead, the giver should slowly ease out while the receiver bears down. That’s true whether you’re just the receiver or you’re the giver and the receiver (aka masturbating). “Pushing out a little bit helps open up the entrance and can make the exit more comfortable,” she says.
If you want to move onto other sex acts, just make sure to grab a new condom or wash any toys/hands/body parts involved in the anal play. Because even if the receiver’s butt is sparkling clean, the anal canal has a microbiome that is different than the vaginal microbiome. Meaning, double-dipping can transfer bacteria from back to front that can throw off the vaginal pH and lead to yeast or bacterial infection. Blah.
8. Practice aftercare.
While the after anal-sex glow is real, Sinclair notes that—especially for anal beginners—anal sex can leave the receiver feeling a little vulnerable. She recommends spending some time cuddling, refueling, hydrating, and debriefing the experience after.
What If I Don’t Have an Anal Orgasm?
The better questions to ask yourself are: Did I experience pleasure? Did I learn more about my own body? Do I feel closer to my partner? If you answered yes to one or more of these Q’s the experience was a win! After all, an anal O may be a happy side effect of peach play, but it’s not the only benefit of anal exploration.
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