She also gave an update on her upcoming Ivy Park Adidas collection.
At this point, the word “Beyoncé” is essentially a seven-letter word for “winner.” The singer is constantly earning awards and even holds the record for the most-nominated woman in Grammy history. When it comes to how Beyoncé views her own accomplishments, though, she seems to be putting less value in being named “number one.”
In a cover interview with Elle UK, Beyoncé answered a fan-sourced question about how she felt when she didn’t win an award for her recent Netflix documentary, Homecoming. (Refresher: The movie was nominated for six Emmys, and to everyone’s surprise, won zero.) Beyoncé told the publication that she’s less fixated on winning top spots and instead focused on “creating art and a legacy that will live far beyond me.”
Having miscarriages contributed to her change in perspective, Beyoncé told Elle UK. “Success looks different to me now,” she explained. “I learned that all pain and loss is in fact a gift. Having miscarriages taught me that I had to mother myself before I could be a mother to someone else.”
When Beyoncé did become a mother, she said it cemented her new outlook. “Then I had Blue, and the quest for my purpose became so much deeper,” she told Elle Uk. “I died and was reborn in my relationship, and the quest for self became even stronger.”
Beyoncé first publicly addressed her miscarriage experience in her 2013 HBO documentary, Life Is But a Dream. She revealed during the doc that she’d been blindsided in learning that her baby had no heartbeat when, at an appointment the week before, everything seemed fine. She explained that afterward she “went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I’ve ever written in my life,” People reported. “And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I’ve ever been through.” The song, Heartbeat, never made it on to an album, per Glamour.
Later on, Beyoncé opened up about how giving birth also impacted her outlook on her career. “I have a lot of awards, and I have a lot of these things, and they’re amazing and I worked my ass off. I worked harder than probably everybody I know to get those things,” she explained in her self-titled visual album. “But nothing feels like my child saying ‘Mommy.’ Nothing feels like when I look at my husband in the eyes.”
The mom of three might not be putting the same emphasis on winning first, but that doesn’t mean she’s working any less hard. She’s recently channeled some of her creativity into a highly-anticipated Ivy Park Adidas collection, which she told Elle UK will feature gender-neutral options. And let’s not forget that her Coachella performance in 2018 was so insane that people still refer to that year’s festival as “Beychella.” If success means creating art and leaving a legacy, then Beyoncé is definitely at the top of her game.
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