If work commitments, endless errands and troublesome tots are killing your lust for intimacy, read on how to fire your libido.
Photo: Takmeomeo / www.pixabay.com
Boost your libido by… Talking dirty
On paper! To determine what works best for you, try the following: Write down three things you want your partner to do during foreplay and intercourse. Then, get him to do the same and compare notes. Start with the easiest to fulfil, suggests Dr Martha Lee, a clinical sexologist at Eros Coaching.
Spice Factor 3 out of 5
Boost your libido by… Having a wake up call
There’s no better way to start the day than with a good dose of AM action between the sheets – you’ll get a quick boost of feel-good endorphins that will last for hours. However, while men often open their eyes raring to go, we need some encouragement,” says Natasha Valdez, author of A Little Bit Kinky (US$13, or S$17.30, www.amazon.com). “Ease the transition from snoozing to making love by sleeping totally naked – you’ll be more in touch with your sexy side than if you woke up in faded pajamas.”
Spice Factor 3.5 out of 5
Boost your libido by… Licking chocolate
Share that decadent molten lava cake with him – you’ll get more than a sweet kick. According to research published in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association, a compound in dark chocolate, phenylethylamine, prompts the release of the same endorphins triggered by sex, and increases the feelings of attraction between two people. (P.S. Who said you had to have dessert at the table?)
Spice Factor 4 out of 5
Boost your libido by… Pencilling it in
A romp in the sack should be spontaneous, but it may be difficult to do so when there are tykes to tend to. The solution: Plan ahead. “Putting sex down on the calendar means preparing for it and this will help to make it happen. Park your kids with caretakers so you’re not worrying about them when you’re getting frisky,” says Dr Lee. Plus, the anticipation will amplify your arousal!
Spice Factor 4 out of 5
Boost your libido by… Playing along
Research shows that seven out of 10 women don’t reach orgasm through intercourse alone, so it may be time to introduce some (sex) toys as part of foreplay. And don’t worry about scaring your bed buddy off – 70 per cent of men polled in an Indiana University survey claim that they have no problem with the use of vibrators during sex. If your guy shows resistance, get him to shop with you, says Theia Powers, author of The Little Black Book of Sex Toys (US$8.69, or S$11.50, www.amazon.com). “He might be less threatened if he helps pick it out,” she explains.
Spice Factor 5 out of 5